When you can see only darkness and you can’t seem to cope or heal after the loss of a beloved animal companion, you are not only suffering immensely, you are also preventing yourself from connecting with your animal friend.
In this article I will show you 3 steps you can use to move from grief into peace after the loss of a beloved pet.
3 steps for bringing light into the darkness when you have lost an animal friend
1) Practice Gratitude
Practicing gratitude is a powerful way of healing after the loss of an animal companion. It allows you to shift your perspective from solely thinking of and feeling the pain of the loss to helping you shift to an experience of love and gratefulness. It is truly a way of bringing light into the darkness.
Some questions you can ask yourself can be:
- What things did your pet do that made you happy?
- What lessons have you learned from your pet?
- How did living with your pet enrich your life?
And don’t forget to acknowledge some of the ways you made a positive difference in your pet’s life.
Using the free Healing Pet Loss Gratitude Journal can be very helpful.
2) Forgiveness
After losing a beloved animal companion, it can be easy to get stuck in guilt and regret, and easy to get stuck in blaming yourself or others for the events or circumstances leading up to your pet’s death. However, guilt, regret, and blaming will not bring peace into your life or to your animal companion, so taking steps towards forgiveness is an important part of your healing journey. Often it is forgiving ourselves that we find the hardest, so be gentle with yourself and realize that most likely you did the best you knew how at the time. If you find that there are things you would have done differently, then in stead of blaming yourself, set the intention to learn from what happened – not only as a way of growing as a human being but also as a way of paying tribute to and honoring your precious animal friend.
When I struggled with guilt after losing my beloved cat Kia, her messages brought me much peace and comfort. One of the things she said about dealing with guilt after pet loss was:
“It is when you fully realize that you can access me and my love right here in the present that all guilt and regret will fall away, and you will not only remember our time together with love and joy but also experience my presence in the now, for I am with you wherever you go.”
3) Reconnecting with the love and sharing it in the world
Recognize that the love you shared with your animal companion is still there,and set the intention to pass on or share the love that your pet so generously and unconditionally gave to you. Letting your pet be a guide and inspiration in your life as you move forward is a beautiful way of honoring your beloved animal friend who taught you the power of unconditional love.
A few tips for the grieving
As you move through the grieving process, you will find that it is not a linear process. Grief often comes in waves. Simply becoming aware of that will be helpful.
Another thing to be aware of is that there is no time-limit on your grief. Whatever others might think or say, your grief is your own and you process your grief in your own way and your own time.
You just lost someone who was a very important part of your life – so allow yourself to grieve.
If you are looking for specific exercises for coping with grief and more comforting messages from animals in the afterlife, I invite you to read my book “Healing Pet Loss: Practical Steps for Coping and Comforting Messages from Animals and Spirit Guides” is available on Amazon:
Amazon US | Amazon UK
What are you particularly struggling with in connection with the loss of your animal companion? Please share in the comments section below.
I lost my Samantha 884 days ago & every day has been harder than the last. On Sept. 29, 2012, a friend called me & asked if I wanted to go out. Since I hadn’t been out in a very long time (3 yrs), I said ok. As I left, I saw my girl outside & said the same thing I always said to her ~ ‘BE A GOOD GIRL, STAY SAFE, I LOVE YOU & I’LL BE BACK SOON.” I ended up staying out all night. When I got home the next morning, I was told she was found dead in our driveway. She was only 2 years old. she wasn’t hurt, hadn’t been sick, hit by a car, just died. I miss her so much. I cry everyday for her. Still can’t hear her name, let alone say it without crying. She is buried in the front yard, so I spend a lot of time out there. Even take a sleeping bag so I can sleep next to her. SAMANTHA 09/2010 ~ 09/2012 R.I.P.
I WANT MY KITTEN BACK!! I WANT MY KITTEN BACK!! I JUST NEED MY SAMMY BACK!!
PLEASE . . .
I just lost my boy Charlie to a coyote, it hurts so much. I don’t know how to live without him. He has been with me for close to 8 years, he was my best friend. I have never been alone, he got me through so much! Divorce, boyfriends, children leaving for college…I have never been alone. I don’t know what to do? I rescued him and I want to rescue another dog, I just feel guilty to get another dog but I can’t live without loving a four legged friend.. How long should you wait to get another dog??? I am just so heartbroken, sad, angry and an emotional mess! Thank you for your support and guidance,
With gratitude , Cindy
Cindy, I am so sorry for your loss. The decision to get a new animal companion after a loss is very individual. While some find they won’t be able to truly be there for a new animal friend as long as their grief is very strong, others find it comforting and healing to open their heart and home to an animal that needs a home.
The main question to ask yourself is: If you go into your heart, do you find you are ready to give the new animal the care and attention it needs? If you truly feel that, and after a couple of days still feel the same, then that might be what is right for you.
Only you will be able to make the final decision. I wish you the best of luck.
Peace and blessings,
Marianne Soucy
Healing Pet Loss
Our beloved fur babies that have past want us to be happy and are thrilled when we rescue/adopt again another animal to love. It is a compliment to our previous fur children and that is how they get their wings at The Bridge! Another animal doesn’t replace our previous one, but it does give us a chance to open our hearts and homes and save another life. Blessings to you and I hope you decide to adopt again. Please rescue – they make wonderful family members and are so grateful – they will rescue you.
Marianne – i agree with you 100% on these tips. Thank you for summarizing them so well – i lost my beloved Olive in 2012 and at that time had no idea what pet loss was like, but i knew how to implement these three tips because of other difficult moments in my life. I started Pet Perennials as a way to give back and share the love.
Thank you so much for your insight – healing from pet loss is a very real process.
i was just looking through old photos today and came across pictures of my dog Lou. Lou passed away a few years ago and I have not been able to bring myself to even think about another pet until today. I miss my little rode dog because he went everywhere with me. Never once did he criticize my driving, mind my bad hair days or get mad at me. There will always be a place in my heart for Lou.
Marianne, I really appreciate what you do. My husband and I lost three seniors in four years. One of the things that helped us a lot was creating a ritual around euthanasia day. Ice cream and burgers from the drive through (for the dogs — not us) made them smile, no matter how much pain they were in. And gratitude for the ability to release them from suffering also helps with the heartbreak.
Marianne, I was just discussing this with my Mother the other day when sweet Oreo – a quiet Apple-Head Chihuahua and Mom’s constant companion was stung in her foot by bee in the yard. If Mom had not acted so fast, (not knowing Oreo was allergic to her first bee sting) she would have lost her beloved pet. As Mom called crying because Oreo was in the hospital and Mom had found out from the vet that her older dog was in anaphylactic shock, I could hear the shock and grief in her voice at the mere thought of losing her. I know she would have had a hard time forgiving herself if Oreo had not made it, but the good news is, she did. Such a strong little trooper. You well know the heart connection Marianne!
Looking at pictures of our family dog was comforting so I assembled them and designed a memorial vase with the photos embedded in a mosaic design done with nipped black and white plates that had been the color of her coat. It has a prominent place on the shelf, as she did in our family, and feels right as her memories remain with us.
I am struggling with my decision to put my cat Angel to sleep. She was very sick and I made the decision rather than try more treatment options. Vet visits were very traumatic for her and I did not see back and forth visits to the vet helping…..she had all the symptoms of cancer. I guess I wish I had done more preventative measures.iI feel that I let her down.
I also feel so alone with my sadness…..I am so sad that very very few people have offered me any support.It is as though she was never here.
I have tattooed her name on my arm in her memory…..I do not want to forget her!!!