This article is part 1 in the article series “Coping with a missing pet”. You can also read part 2, part 3, and part 4.
When a beloved pet goes missing, the uncertainty and the fear of what may have happened can be devastating. Not only can your mind come up with all kinds of horrible scenarios of what could have happened to your animal companion, but it is also very possible that feelings of guilt and self-blame will torment you.
There are many practical steps you can take to search for and to announce locally and online that your pet is missing – a simple web search will bring up many helpful websites. But even though you have taken the steps you can take, dealing with the emotions of the loss of your animal friend is very difficult. The uncertainty is especially hard to handle as it can keep you in long-term emotional turmoil switching from feelings of hope one minute to despair and grief the next.
Rumi – a loving pet lost in a tragic accident
I have also experienced a beloved pet gone missing. One day my black and white Manx cat Rumi, did not come home from his nightly rounds. My husband and I experienced several days of emotional torment before we got a call from a kind woman after she saw one of our flyers. She told us that she recognized Rumi’s photo from the flyer and she had seen our precious Rumi lying dead in the street, apparently the victim of a hit and run driver. Even though we had suspected and tried to prepare for the possibility that he was dead, it was still heartbreaking to get confirmation that Rumi was gone and we would never see him again.
But knowing what happened is not all bad, even when it is discovered that your beloved pet has died. The pain of the loss is still overwhelming, but knowing that their life has ended brings a degree of closure, and therefore peace. The not knowing, I find, is very hard and makes it nearly impossible to get closure or relief. The constant wondering what happened and hoping for a beloved pet’s return can be debilitating.
Getting confirmation that Rumi was dead enabled us to say goodbye to him, make a memorial ceremony for him and express our gratitude for the love and joy he brought into our lives. He sent me a message from beyond: “Remember the love.” – And I do.
When Freedom was missing for 5 days
We have another cat who joined us a while after Rumi had died. He is a tuxedo cat whose name is Freedom, and for a good reason – he is a free spirit who loves his freedom and sometimes goes traveling. He is a lone wolf (he even has wolf as his spirit helper). It takes a long time to get to know Freedom, but worth every effort ten times over; Freedom is very affectionate, and also extremely sensitive. He sometimes goes exploring for a day or so, but when he was missing 5 days, we were afraid we had lost him.
Every time I went to check if he had snuck in the cat door without us noticing – and finding his chair empty – my heart would break.
Kia’s helpful advice
One thing that really helped us through those 5 days was a piece of advice I got from Kia, my beloved angel cat who died in July 2012 but who brings me wisdom and comfort from the afterlife. Her words helped me make the mindset shift needed to best be there for Freedom who was missing. Here is an excerpt of what Kia said:
“Never let the fear and dark thoughts take over. Whether Freedom is alive or dead, he needs your loving thoughts. Let the light in your heart shine with the brightest light you can, so he can find his way home – in spirit or his physical body. Hold the image of him in your light and love – it means more than you think.” ~ Kia
May Kia’s words help your heart shine with the brightest light possible for your beloved pet who is missing.
PS: On the evening of the 5th day, we suddenly heard the cat door – and when we went out to check, there was Freedom. We had almost given up ever seeing him again, so it was such a gift to get him back again. He had lost some weight and had been in a fight, but was otherwise okay. Sometimes miracles do happen, and to us Freedom’s return after 5 days missing was an absolute miracle.
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If you liked this article, you will also like part 2, part 3 and part 4.
My dog Bailey has been missing since June 6, 2012. He was only 4.5 years old..a tiny dog who weighed less than 5 pounds. My heart has been broken in pieces since that fateful day. I have spoken with a couple of animal communicators who say that he is no longer here physically. Please help me find the strength to accept this. He is the love of my life and I have never been through anything this hard. Friends/family have deserted me because I can’t let go.
Dear Stacey, I’m so sorry for the loss of your precious Bailey. It is devastating when a trusted friend and close companion goes missing. I hope you can find comfort here.
See Coping with a missing pet – part 2 and Coping with a missing pet – part 3 of the article series “Coping with a missing pet” have now been published. You might also find them helpful. If you want help right away I would recommend that you start by getting my Comfort and Guilt Reports with bonuses. They contain a great deal of information, inspiration and important exercises. Try out the exercises and see how it goes. Blessings, Marianne
To me, one of the most painful experiences a pet owner/lover can find themselves in is a pet gone missing. I’ve spent my career as an electronics engineer and amateur inventor. Now that I’m disabled and unable to work, I have made it a top priority to develop a safe way to make sure a pet is within a certain boundary range and can be quickly located if he/she goes beyond that range (not a painful “zapper” or anything like that) but to alert the owner if the pet strays off too far and then engage a tracking device to quickly find your precious friend. So far I’ve had several working ideas but have also run into obstacles. One might think a GPS transmitter or active RFID would be a good idea, but the danger of the transmitting device’s emissions end up posing a greater health hazard then risk removal. I hope to get a reliable and inexpensive device on the market and I must say that profit has zero motivation, it breaks my heart to hear of a missing pet and am very dedicated to coming up with an device as soon as I possibly can. Thank you.
It sounds like a good idea, and I hope you succeed. I’m glad to hear that you are also considering hazards to the animal’s health when creating the device. It might take longer to create one that’s safe for the pet to wear, but it will definitely be worth it and greatly appreciated by pet owners who want to track their pets in a way that doesn’t harm their precious companion.