This article is part 4 in the article series “Coping with a missing pet”. You can also read part 1, part 2, and part 3.
Moving forward when your pet is missing
The loss of a beloved pet is a heartbreaking experience that can turn your whole world upside down. If you are in a situation where your pet has gone missing, it can be very hard to cope, let alone move forward.
Moving forward will be different for you depending on which one of these 3 scenarios is relevant to you:
- When your missing pet is alive and returns to you
- When your missing pet turns out to be dead
- When you don’t receive confirmation whether your pet is dead or alive, and you must live with the uncertainty.
Moving forward when your missing pet returns to you alive
If you are so lucky that you are reunited with your beloved pet after they have been missing, you will feel that you have experienced a miracle and that you have been given a second chance.
If you feel like I did when my cat Freedom came home after having been missing for 5 days, you will want to make the most of your time you have left with your pet. The reality and pain that some day your pet will not be there with you anymore, has hit you hard. When you have been given the gift of more time with your precious companion, my suggestions for you are twofold:
A) Practice being present with your pet
How often in our lives are we busy doing something or worrying about something, and not being 100 % present when spending time with our pet. They want to play or spend time with us, but we don’t have the time or are only partly there with them. When you are reunited with your pet after they have been missing, you have a great opportunity to practice present-moment awareness. That presence and calm you achieve will carry over into the rest of your life. Meditation is a useful tool for learning and practicing present-moment awareness.
B) Practice gratitude
Besides the sheer joy of seeing your animal companion again after they have been missing, a dominant feeling is GRATITUDE. You have truly been given a gift, and now is a good time to begin to consciously practicing gratitude.
We may often take our loved ones for granted and fail to express our gratitude and love, for instance by appreciating the small things that sometimes mean so much. Practicing gratitude means becoming conscious about your blessings, to notice and give thanks for the little things in your life, but also to see and appreciate the big picture – for example by looking at what lessons your pet is here to teach you. To help you with practicing gratitude, I have created a Gratitude Journal that you can download for free here.
When you find out that your missing pet has died
Learning that your beloved animal companion has died after having been missing is devastating. Not only has your pet been removed suddenly and unexpectedly from your life, but you didn’t have a chance to say goodbye or be there for them when they died. On top of that, overwhelming feelings of guilt are likely to surface, because you may blame yourself for failing to protect or save your trusted friend. I’m familiar with all those feelings, because that’s how I felt when my beloved cat Rumi died tragically and suddenly.
When you are overwhelmed by grief after such a sudden and unexpected loss, it can be very helpful to have access to techniques, inspiration and insights from someone who has been down the same path. Click here if you need help right away.
When you have to live with the uncertainty
Having to live with the uncertainty of you pet’s fate is very challenging, because it means living with a constant hope that your pet might be alive and well while at the same time fearing they are deceased or suffering. It can be almost impossible to move forward, because we don’t want to give up hope if there is even the slightest chance our trusted friend might be alive.
At some point we need to surrender, which means giving up trying to understand and becoming comfortable with not knowing, as Eckhart Tolle says in the quote at the top of this page. It doesn’t mean giving up all hope of seeing your pet again, it simply means that you learn to live with the uncertainty.
One exercise that can be helpful to do is the exercise in part 2 of this article series where you connect with your missing pet. This exercise can be done whether your pet is alive or deceased.
Animal wisdom – awakening and restoring your sense of wonder
We can also turn to the wisdom of animals for helping us cope and move forward when our beloved pet is missing. In the following I will share a couple of excerpts from my communications with an owl and a unicorn that took place when my cat Freedom was missing for 5 days. May their wise words give you comfort and insight.
The owl hoots and speaks: “What is hidden shall be revealed. See with your mind’s eye – and with your heart. If you use your normal senses, you are missing out on much. Step beyond your limiting beliefs and realize there are no limits, no boundaries, no separateness. You cannot be separated from what has been yours – and part of you – all along. Wherever Freedom is, he is not separate from you. Connect with him in love, in your heart, and realize that you are one.”
I just manage to think “Is Freedom okay?” as a magnificent unicorn shows up, a soft light surrounding him.
U: “Blessings to you all for coming – for caring, and for stepping beyond your doubts to embrace what can’t be seen. When you embrace the magic in your heart, you will enable it to manifest it in ordinary life. Losses – and potential losses – are great healing and learning experiences. In this case you grieve deeply the loss of Freedom, even though you truly don’t know yet if he is dead or not. Your mind tells you he’s probably dead, so you grieve. You are not grieving an actual loss, but an imagined loss. Ultimately all losses are imagined, for if you learn how to connect in spirit, in love – beyond the physical – then you realize that the physical is illusory and that love and spirit are eternal. Feel the love and light when you connect with Freedom in your heart – that is the truth. That is the legacy you carry with you, sharing it with others and showing them to access the love and light in their own heart. Call on me for healing and insight.”
And to my question if Freedom is okay and where he is, unicorn says:
“Look again in your heart. For now: keep returning to your heart.”
As you can see from above, the animals we can connect with and learn from are not just ordinary, ‘real-life’ animals but also magical creatures like the unicorn. If you are a skeptic, that’s okay. But try to keep an open mind – or perhaps especially an open heart. First of all, try to focus on the message of the unicorn instead of thinking too much about whether they are real or not. Second, before you dismiss the unicorn, its existence and teachings, please read this very special poem about a man in search of a unicorn. It’s called “Ragged John” and it moves me deeply each time I read it. You can read the poem here or here. You can also read the poem in Ted Andrew’s book “Treasures of the unicorn”, which is a book I can highly recommend. In the beginning of the book, Ted describes his own encounter with a unicorn he had as a boy.
On the practical side
Doing the exercise to connect with your pet and using the wisdom of animals to cope with and move forward when your pet is missing can be very helpful in your healing process. However, the practical side is just as important. When your pet is missing, taking the right steps to find your pet can determine whether you succeed or not. A useful website I happened to find the other day is Cats in the Bag which has a lot of useful pet search tips, many of which you might not have thought of or heard of before.
If you know any good websites with practical tips for finding missing pets, please share in the comments section below.
Read more
If you liked this article, you will also like part 1, part 2, and part 3 of the article series “Coping with a missing pet”. If you would like to be notified about forthcoming articles, sign up in the form below.
P.S.
The same day I wrote this article on May 27, 2013, I received a very clear synchronicity which I will share with you. After writing the article, I opened “Politiken”, a daily newspaper, and found a comic strip depicting the essence of the “Ragged John” poem mentioned above. I’m definitely not a fan of the comic strip or the drawings, but the message is quite clear. It showed a unicorn sitting by the table in a dining room and a man telling his wife: “Listen Malene, if you once in your life meet a unicorn you invite it for lunch. I know the house has not been cleaned and there is not much food, but it was now or never.”
