Coping with the sudden loss of a pet

Saying goodbye to a pet

When a beloved pet dies, the grief and the pain of the loss of our trusted friend and companion can be difficult to handle. And if an animal companion dies suddenly, the pain can be extra intense and almost unbearable, because we were unprepared and most likely didn’t have a chance to say goodbye to our pet.

The sudden loss of a pet can often bring about feelings and thoughts such as for example:

  • “Why did it happen? It is so unfair.”
  • “My pet was so young; it can’t be his or her time already.”
  • “I don’t feel as though our time together is complete yet.”
  • “I should have been able to prevent the death of my pet.”
  • “I shouldn’t have done that. Why didn’t I do this?

Feelings and thoughts like these can make you suffer for a long time. However, while nothing can bring back your beloved animal companion, there are some things you can do to make the pain bearable and get some peace of mind.

Create a pet memorial ceremony

Creating your own pet memorial ceremony can be a very healing and meaningful thing to do after the sudden death of an animal companion. You can create the ceremony according to your own situation and your own wishes, but there are two steps I advise that you include. They are:

  • Gratitude

A pet memorial ceremony gives you an excellent opportunity to give thanks for the love and the life you shared with your pet.

  • Saying goodbye

It is not easy to say goodbye to a beloved animal companion, but saying goodbye is important, not just for your own healing, but also to help your pet on their journey in the afterlife. It is especially important to include your goodbye in the memorial ceremony when your pet died suddenly, since you did not have the possibility to say goodbye properly before your companion’s death. As you say goodbye, imagine your pet safe, cared for, and happy on his or her journey in the afterlife.

Other helpful tools for coping with the loss of a pet

Besides creating a pet memorial ceremony, other things that can help you cope with and heal if you have lost your pet suddenly are:

  • Journaling
  • Asking for a sign from your pet in the afterlife
  • Take steps to deal with the feelings of grief and guilt that you are likely to experience.

I am personally familiar with the sudden loss of a beloved pet, as I lost one of my cats, Rumi, when he was killed by a car on one of his nightly rounds. He was only 4 years old. I certainly didn’t feel as if our time together was complete, and I couldn’t understand why he should be taken away in such a tragic way at such a young age.

Coping with the sudden loss of a petAnd when my beloved angel cat Kia died unexpectedly in an animal hospital all alone, I was struggling to make sense of the way she died. She reminded me in one of her communications to me to move to a place beyond right and wrong. A quote that I have often returned to is the one by Rumi (the poet): “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and right doing there is a field. I will meet you there.”

One thing that you might find helpful if your pet died suddenly at a young age is what I realized after I lost my cat Rumi: It is not the length of time spent together but the quality that really counts. Think of all the happy memories you have and all the fond moments you shared with your pet.

The Gratitude Journal I have created can be helpful as you recall and give thanks for the many happy moments you had with your pet, and as you contemplate how your animal companion has enriched your life. You can download the Gratitude Journal for free by clicking the image or the button below.

Comments

  1. Jennifer Lancaster says

    Thank you for this post it has helped me a lot. I recently lost my baby hamster because my littlest sister left his cage he open he died as I watched andn he got eaten my own cat you could hear his little screams of pain. My cat wouldn’t even let go of him. He was so bloody when my cat finally let go of him.

  2. Visha B says

    My baby boy Poppy was only 4 months old. He was a bichon frise who lived with my sister and I upstairs. He just brought so much joy in our lives. He was the first dog I actually called my own. He was the first one I wished Happy New Year 2017. We have 3 other dogs who live outside and we were slowly trying to make them get used to having Poppy around. We managed to make 2 of them get along with him and yesterday we thought we would try it with the last one, Spot, a dalmatian. On the eve my sister spoke to him and we were so sure it was going to be all fine. We did it before and it went all well. The nightmare did not even last one minute. As soon as Spot saw Poppy he killed him. In front of my sister, my mom and I. We shouted, cried, pleaded, even went to beat Spot but he did not let loose of Poppy. Even after killing him he did not allow us to pay respect to his body. He took the body away and we still do not know where it is. I am still shaken and heart broken. I feel worse for my sister as Spot was her dog and she keeps telling he she saw her child kill her other child. I just do not know what to do, I cannot stop crying. I miss him so much. I feel so hopeless, despite the fact that I am getting married this year. I just want my Poppy back. I saw him dying in less than 1 minute, He did not make a single sound, no cry, nothing. I cannot stay in this house, I just want to move out. I just do not know what to do anymore:(:(:( I miss him so much.

  3. Jessica C says

    This has been so comforting to read your stories in the comments. In the early hours Saturday (Jan 7 2016) my precious beloved baby boy Moby passed away at the pet er :( he was only 3 years old. He had chronic ear infections since August 2016. Right after New Years I noticed his ear infection was getting worse and was bothering him so I took him to the vet who found a polyp in his ear. We scheduled surgery for the following week and that was it. On jan 5 I noticed he couldn’t walk or keep his balance. Took him immediately to the pet er and they basically told us his infection got worse and he needed surgery to clean the bulla bone in his head. They gave us nothing else for him. Jan 6 we had another consult for the surgery which wouldn’t happen until the following week. Moby was becoming weaker and was barely eating or drinking. He couldn’t walk or stand or do anything I was so scared. I stayed up with him pretty much all night and noticed early Saturday morning around 4am his breathing became erratic and he stopped blinking I got so scared and took him to the er where after an hour ended up putting him down. My heart is broken. I am so upset and distraught with guilt. I feel like if I took him in sooner to the vet for his ear infection he’d be fine. My vets told us that the infection had spread to his brain and there was nothing we could do but I feel like I could’ve saved him if I went a week or two sooner for a follow up after the November ear infection. I’m just so broken up. He was so young I expected another 15 years with him. My other cat who is 5 seems ok but I’m worried he’s upset. The two were so so close. Mobys death has really affected me it was so sudden and too soon :(

  4. Last night my beautiful, 1 year old Australian Shepherd, Fiona, ran ahead of my husband and into the road in front of our house, where she was hit by a car. She died in my husband’s arms a few moments later. I was taking a nap when it happened and when he told me she was dead I could not believe it. I went outside and saw her laying on the grass across the street. I started screaming and ran back into the house because I couldn’t look at her. I have never felt such intense grief and heartbreak in my life. I feel like my heart has been ripped out of my chest and like I will never get over it or be happy again. She was so loving and lively and wonderful. I just don’t understand how something like this could happen.

  5. We are having a difficult time with the loss of Roy,Roy was a friend of ours who lived on our property dog. When our friend died from cancer three years ago in December,we kept Roy as our own. He was a loving dashhund. My husband and Roy became best buddies. Then he would take him to the shop with him in the truck. It is just down the hill on our property.
    Well for some unknown reason when he drove up to the house Roy some how came running and got under the back wheel of the truck.!! My husband heard the yell and got him up, it had peeled everything off the tail bone!! We rushed him to the vet,then to a special surgery place over a hour away only to be told that they wanted over ten THOUSAND dollars!! And could not tell us if he would have quality of live. And we did what was best for Roy!! He loved to run the hills on our place and play with the Deer!! But I can’t stop seeing him in pain with no fur on that bloody tail. He was only 9 years old. He is now with Jesus! And his Daddy Mike in heaven!! We love and miss you so much Roy

  6. Kelly Baumann says

    2 weeks ago 7-19-16 I let out my 4 dogs to go to the bathroom and 20 mins later my 8 year old son let the dogs in but only 3 came in we told him to call for Destiny so he did then he walked out to see where she was coming from and saw her laying on the ground me and my husband ran outside to check on her but she was already gone it looked like her collar had choked her and she had fell over and passed away in the middle of the yard she was only a year and a half old we had rescued her from a shelter when she was 8weeks old we were all so unprepared for her passing it’s hit my son very hard I miss her everyday she cuddled against me every night it still seems like a bad dream that I keep hoping to wake up from

  7. Patricia Williams says

    I am grateful for this website, and so sad that there are so many of us who have experienced sudden loss.

    Our 13-month old German shepherd puppy Cedar had passed away suddenly and expectedly while I was only gone for an hour and half. When I came home, I went to his pen to let him out, and wondered why he was just lying on his side so still instead of waiting for me at the gate. He was already gone. I couldn’t believe it, and was beside myself. We are waiting for results from a necropsy.

    We are still in shock and disbelief. He was so vibrant, happy, happy-go-lucky, friendly, and super playful ALL THE TIME, and that morning he was squeaking his toys, played a little with our other dog, and went for a pleasant walk before I left with our other dog. And now he is gone. He left us way too soon, and we have no idea, but wonder if it was heartworm and flea preventive we had given him that morning, or if he had a heart defect we didn’t know about.

    I wish I hadn’t gone. I keep thinking if I were here, I could have rushed him to the vet. We don’t know what the necropsy will say, but my husband and I vow to never give that kind of medicine again, and stick to a topical one.

    Like all of you, we are in shock and disbelief, and keep feeling like it’s a really bad dream, a nightmare. That’s what it’s like, like we’re floating around in a really bad dream, except that the horrible truth is that it’s real, and he’s really gone. That night it was painfully silent and still in the house, deafening. Cedar was so active, playful and curious at all hours of the day, so vibrant and happy and easy-going. Then suddenly, he was taken away from us. I know his spiritual essence is eternal, and I think our dog felt his presence today in the house, but it doesn’t stop the pain of missing him.

    The good thing is that even though his life was just beginning, in this one year he got to go for lots of walks in nature, chase the ball like one big silly goofy puppy, squeak his toys and play endlessly with our other dog, eat a hot dog by the campfire with my husband, and chase and attack the bubbles and ripples in the river, zoom up and down the shoreline of a saltwater beach, and followed commands well and walk nicely. He brought us so much joy. I hope we all are comforted somehow and eventually find peace and joy.

  8. Terri Williams says

    I lost my little Min Pin boy 10 months ago I found him in front of my house in the street dead, Someone ran over him and didn’t even stop. The image in my head of him was horrific and I can’t seem to get it out if my mind. He got out of the fence and it was only minutes before I realized it and I called for him and was running down my driveway and found his lifeless little body on the side of the road. It looked as if he was running home when he got hit. I rescued him at 3 weeks old and he was almost 5 yrs old when he died. This has been the most difficult time in my life and I don’t know how to get passed this. I cry every day and the feeling in my heart is so.empty and sad I just muss him so much it makes me sick. The guilt weighs just as heavy today as it did 10 months ago. His name was stinker. He was my boy.

  9. Lindsay says

    I feel for each one of you. I just lost one of my babies yesterday, a 2.5 year grey striped tom named Timmy whom we’d rescued and had since he was a kitten. Timmy was a shy boy and made you work for his love but once he started coming out of his shell he had a big personality. We were going through our morning routine when Tims suddenly fell over and was struggling to breathe until he died a mere 30 seconds later. The vet told us it was probably his heart. I’m still in the angry/denial phase thinking this can’t have happened and that I could have done more. It hurts like nothing else. I picture Tims a happy boy on the other side of the rainbow bridge but the grief is terrible.

  10. Marc T. says

    Thank you all for.your.stories. I am.so sorry.for.your.loss. On 2/18/16, we suddenly.lost our beloved Derby, a 4.year old Lab. We had a necropsy performed and the initial diagnosis was cardio myopathy. His heart tissue walls thickened resulting in an inability for his.heart to pump blood. He had regular vet visits and by all accounts healthy. He was on a regular afternoon walk and ran up to play with a dog friend and owner then
    suddenly collapsed and died within seconds. We miss.him so much it hurts. Thank you for allowing.me to share.

  11. Darkia says

    I just lost my little 6 month old kitten tiger last night my cousin had found her on the side of the road eating garbage so I brought her in she was so sweet and would cuddle with me every chance she got she had been drinking and eating exesivly but I just thought it was because she was a stray last night we found blood in her poop and we brought her to the vet she said there was nothing we could do and we got her creamated I’m giving some to my cousin since he had a atachment as well we’re sharing it between me my cousin and the family animal burial ground I only had her for two weeks but she was so special I miss having to look under the lazy boy to see if she was hiding from the dogs before getting on it but last night I had a dream it was the most lucid dream I had ever had and I was in a tunnel of light and at the end of the tunnel was her with her soft little mews I miss her

  12. Morgan says

    I lost my 1.5-year-old pitbull rescue this past Friday. I had adopted her only 3 weeks ago. She was a rescue. I suspected she was abused previously, but I knew nothing about her. She was the love of my life. She was my first dog. I was in class, I’m a college student, and my roommate took her out to go to the bathroom. He didn’t know she needed her harness. She immediately pulled her head out of her collar and leash and was gone in an instant. She loved to run. And running is what she did. I found her the following morning on the side of the freeway. She had been hit by a car and immediately passed. I will never remove the image of my poor baby lying there on the road. An image i’m thankful my boyfriend didn’t have to see. I loved her more than I’ve ever loved everything. I wanted her to grow old with me, protect my children. I had a wonderful future I wanted to give her. I gave her all I could. I miss her so much and I can’t help but feel I am to blame for this. I didn’t take her running earlier that morning, I didn’t come home from class soon enough. She was out in the cold all night. I looked for her well into the early morning. As I go on throughout my day, i find her missing dog posters i hung up in hopes I would find her. I wished more than anything she had found her way home. It hurts more than i could’ve imagined. She was my best friend, if only for 3 weeks.

  13. Tamara Vining says

    Today we lost our beloved 3 year old cat, Greta. We fostered her a year and a half ago (adopted her less than a year ago after she was medically cleared) after our favorite animal rescue put out a plea for help. She was very small and not gaining weight in the shelter, although they could find nothing wrong with her. We hoped and prayed our love would be enough and it was for a year and a half. Out of the blue yesterday she was very lethargic and couldn’t stand up. It was a Saturday and we had no choice but to go to a 24 hour emergency vet. She was dehydrated and bloodwork revealed severe anemia. After all the money we already spent, we decided to do the blood transfusion, praying that it would be the miracle she needed. Unfortunately, it didn’t help her and she passed away despite all of our effort and expense. The unexpected loss is devastating. She was so special to me because of her delicate condition. I lost my mom the year before and saving her (and a few other rescue pets) helped me to heal. Helping her and giving her a loving home gave me purpose and meaning. She truly was my success story. In the last couple of weeks she was becoming so affectionate and truly assimilating into the family. It boggles my mind to know that she declined so quickly and despite our best efforts we lost her. Thank you all for listening. I’m truly sorry for everyone’s loss.

  14. Sherry says

    My beloved sweet dear cat, Bonnie passed away Monday evening. I had taker her to my local vet because they are closer instead of the vet that had seen her to see if there was anything that could be done before I made the painful decision to let her go. Unfortunately I got a call late that night that she had passed away. I am extremely devastated that I wasn’t there, that she was alone in a place she hated to go to, the vet clinic. I am angry at myself for not going with my gut instinct and spending the afternoon with her as I had planned instead of leaving her alone for 8 hours until she passed. All I can think is she was scared and waiting on mommy to rescue her. I have no idea how I will ever cope with this awful fact.

    • Patricia Williams says

      My husband feels the same way about his family’s dog who was left at an emergency vet clinic overnight for observation, and got a call in the middle of the night that she had passed away. She was such a nervous anxious dog, and we think what killed her was being at a strange place with strange people, all alone without her family, and scared as anything. I truly empathize with your experience.

    • Patricia Williams says

      My husband feels the same way about his family’s dog who was left at an emergency vet clinic overnight for observation, and got a call in the middle of the night that she had passed away. She was such a nervous anxious dog, and we think what killed her was being at a strange place with strange people, all alone without her family, and scared as anything. I truly empathize with your experience.

    • Stacey O. says

      Hi Sherry, I have no idea if you will ever see this reply but your post just breaks my heart & has me in tears. I just lost a furbaby last Monday and am experiencing so many “what ifs”. I just feel so devastated. My friends try to tell me that no matter what happened I would be questioning everything. I really do beat myself up, but it makes me so sad to see others going thru the same. I am sorry from the bottom of my heart for your loss. And that you feel you should have spent time with her instead of leaving her at the vet. However, I just know that had you done that instead of bringing to vet you would never had forgiven yourself for not trying to get her help. You would have always wondered if she would have been ok had she just gone to the vet. You would have wondered forever if you could have changed the course of things. I wish we had pet hospitals where we could stay with our pets as we can with humans. But please be kind to yourself. You wanted to do every single thing you could for her and you did that. I am so sad for you, though I’m sure by now you have reconciled this since it’s been over a year. But situations like yours break my heart. We do the very best we can and it hurts when it feels like it wasn’t enough. But please do know that it was…..

  15. Today I lost my cat T-bone. He was only 2 and a half years old, and he was the first cat I adopted and raised all on my own. He fell in my parent’s pool, and I found him a few hours later. I was screaming; I knew he was gone but I just didn’t want to believe it.

    He was an amazing cat. He was funny, smart, and loved to cuddle when I was feeling down. It’s hurts so much to think I can’t hold him anymore, or hear him make his cute little ‘mews’ when it’s time to feed him. I loved him so much.

    • Karen, your post touched me. I lost my Corra two weeks ago. She was happy and healthy and then suddenly she was not. Within 4 hours, we let her go…to spare her a painful death. I wasn’t ready to say goodbye at all. I knew the day would eventually come, and I would be heartbroken, but truly I am devistated. I cry easily. I miss her terribly. She went everywhere with me, and going places without her feels like I left the house with only half of myself. When I was sad she’d place her head in my lap. When I was happy she’d wag her tail in agreement. She was the dog of my heart. I hope wherever she is now she knows she was loved.
      Thank you for this site and thank you to those who shared their stories. It does help to know I am not alone in my grief.

  16. Shawna says

    I’m still coping with the loss of my Sweet Sadie. She came to us as a foster baby with her 4 other siblings. We bottle fed them for a few weeks until they were ready to eat on their own. After a few weeks we took the group back to the shelter to be put up for adoption. At first Sadie was with the group but I was heart broken that she was gone. So after a week we went back and got her. I was so happy to have my baby. Then that aweful day she was barely 4 months old and I was in my yard with her just like any other day. Along came a stray dog out of nowhere and it instantly started biting poor Sadie. I have MS and have issues walking but I got to them as quick as I could. I panicked and jumped into the fight to help my baby. I tried to shield her from this beast. But it just kept coming at us over and over again. At one point I was able to get the puppy in my arms and tried to run up towards the house but the stray monster hit me in the back of the legs to knock me down. I suffered many bites from this ordeal. My husband final returned from his errands and we rushed Sadie to the vet. I was thinking that they would xray and exam her. And we would have stitched and maybe a few broken bones. But when she came in and pulled up the xrays to show the extent of the injuries. I was in shock. We just started are life with her. I wasn’t ready to tell her goodbye. But we didn’t have a choice. I still ache when I think about Sweet Sadie. It physically hurts to know she went through something so tragic. I keep replaying the evening over and over, wishing I could have done something different.

    • Elysia says

      I know exactly how you feel xo. This happened to us yesterday. I’m so upset, Our beautiful 5 month old chihuahua x, Flash decided to dig under the wire fence and wander into our neighbours yard where he was attacked by their dog. I rushed him to the emergency vet but he was so tiny and his injuries so severe he couldn’t be saved. To say that my husband and I are devastated along with our 3 young boys is an understatement. I’m so heartsick I can barely breathe. I have to go and pick up his little body tomorrow and have a funeral and bury him under his favourite bush. My boys are going to write down the things they love most about him on a piece of paper and bury it with him. I hope with time that this pain eases as it is unbearable.

  17. Our little 3 month old Charlie Cat Cat fooloo had a tragic accident while running into the glass sliding door with his face, he literally skidded as we used to keep it slightly open for him after playing in the yard
    , his game was to skid and make it through the gap. What a tragedy as he caught his face on the aluminium strip, slid the door shut and ricochet into the jam breaking his jaw in 2 places. He crept around the house like a rabbit that night in excrutiating pain, unable to drink, or eat , his face double the size. I took the day off and to the vet only to be told of his injuries and potential treatment options. All of which were not favourable for the kitten at all. I had to decide then and there to euthenase him. A decision that hurts me more than I could ever imagine. The grief of such a small short life gone in less than a day is unbearable. Like most people her I sleep with his blanket and wait for a sign, but still nothing. I wrote him a letter of thanks and keep it as his memorial as with his blamket, smelling it and sleeping with it, but my heart and hugs are hollow. I feel lost without my boy. Totally lost

  18. Sharon says

    My sweet, beautiful 8 year old beagle, Lilly, escaped from the yard at our beach house and was killed by a car right out front. It’s been 10 days and the grief is still overwhelming me. She used her paw to bend the gate just enough to squeeze through. We recently realized that she had figured out how to do this, and resorted to using a bungee cord to secure it until we could replace the gate. My husband left for a quick errand and didn’t bungee the gate, and my son let her into the yard. I feel like we failed our dog. We loved her so much and she depended on us, but we didn’t keep her safe. I don’t think I can ever get another dog — I feel like we don’t deserve it. At night, I hold her blankets and inhale her smell and pray to awaken from this nightmare. I can’t bear to remove her things from the house. The pain of this sudden and horrific loss is unbearable. Reading these posts at least makes me realize that I’m not alone.

    • I understand how you are feeling. My beagle Peanut was almost two before passing away this passed Monday. I am broken in to pieces and so is my husband. She had a sudden seizure on Saturday night that we rushed her to the animal hospital it was horrific. The doctors took her in and was able to stabilize her and later on that day she had another one. The doctors could not explain it since they had her on medication to try to control it . Finally we get a call and we think the worse of it was over, she was eating and seem to be doing a little better. A few hours later the doctor calls us to let us know that they were preforming CPR and that she had another seizure. My heart was breaking and i knew that it was over. That morning the doctor called us and let us know she was brain dead. My heart dropped. She let us know that she did all she could to save her and that what ever it was it was neurological. I’ve been holding her blanket every night wishing it was a nightmare. It still doesn’t feel right at all. She was OK when i left to the store and in just a few hours she later she was having seizures. Nothing came up on her blood work or test that would have resulted to her having any toxins in her body. She was in her kennel when I left so I know she wasn’t out and about. I am just so hurt that this wonderful little ball of light was in our lives for such a short time. I thought I would have more time with her and be able to watch her grow old. The pain is unbearable and I feel blessed to find others who feel the way I do.

    • On Monday we lost our 4 & half month old puppy Daisy, we got her to help mend our broken hearts after losing our 15 year old springer, I can’t even begin to explain my emotional bond with Daisy it was like she was looking after me, she wanted to be in my arms all the time, and if I left the room she would wake up and wait at the gate for my return. She lit up our house after a sad time, I have two young daughters and on my oldest 10th birthday my husband had jumped in the car and Daisy must of escaped , she was completely silent and must of been eating something she shouldn’t of been and hiding, she was ran over, the screams from the kids and guilt and pain are terrible, I saw her lying there and comforted her, then she slipped away. I don’t feel I will ever feel better I lost a soul mate I can’t stop crying and I’ve started having panic attacks. I can’t make sense of the situation life is so unfair.

    • Rich Buchanan says

      To Sharon and everyone else who has posted here, my battered and broken heart goes out to all of you. Along with my family, I feel a special bond with all of you who love your pets so deeply. I’ve had two great dogs prior who have died of natural causes which is difficult, but one realizes this is the course of all living things. This past Sunday we lost our beloved 11 year old cock-a-poo, Bella, to a tragic accident in our driveway. We were always so vigilant when people came and went, but I let my guard down on this occasion. After a frantic and futile trip to the hospital, we returned home knowing yet more sorrow was to come. I felt my heart was going to burst as we waited for our other daughter to arrive home and break the news that her ‘best friend’ in the world was gone. And like all of us, she was inconsolable. The sights and sounds of that day cause me sleepless nights and tortured days. I can’t help but think that had I done just one simple thing differently, this senseless tragedy would have been avoided. I’m familiar with the stages of grief, but Bella was so little and helpless in that situation that forgiving myself seems impossible. A bright and beautiful light has left our home forever… My thoughts and prayers are with all of you, and I hope you can achieve peace of mind and happiness in the future.

  19. Our dog Cooper died this past Saturday morning. We have 3 pups ( a Mastiff, a Cane Corso, and a pug), he was our Corso…a strong, loving, healthy…so we thought. He was only 6 years old. He was fine the night before. Saturday morning he was not sleeping where he normally does. I thought something was wrong. Noticed he was breathing different and then he just laid in the garage not moving. My husband put him in the truck and we rushed him to the vet. We couldn’t even get to the vet in time…he was gone.
    I am in complete shock still. Upset because I couldn’t help him. Sad because he was “my dog” and the sweetest friend.
    I lost my dad two years ago to cancer….I had comfort in knowing that my dad was now in a better place and didn’t have any more pain.
    I can’t find comfort in losing Cooper. That morning was so traumatic….and seeing all that does not give me any peace.
    He was the sunshine of the house. Our little guy is lonely cause they were best buddies. Our other big guy ( the one that is older and has had health issues) knows something is not right…he is a lover too and has not left my side.
    I am a stay at home mom. My job are my kids and my pups. Losing one of them throws everything off.
    I know God has a plan…and obviously this is part of it. As I know our pets are not with us forever. The suddenness of this and the shock of it….just makes it difficult to find peace.

  20. Marianne says

    We lost our 4.5 month old Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, Maggie, this past Sunday. She was fine all day (fourth of July) and then suddenly became very sick to her stomach and lethargic. We rushed her to the emergency vet who kept her overnight. They were not sure what the problem was. Xrays did not detect any foreign object. After an enema, she went into cardiac and pulmonary arrest. They were able to revive her, but a few hours later again went into pulmonary arrest. The vet said he didn’t think she would get better and we then decided to put her to sleep to end her suffering (she was intubated). After she passed, they determined she had ingested something sharp which perforated her colon in two places. The vet said surgery would not have been successful and euthanizing her was the ‘right’ decision. We are devastated. She was like our baby and we loved her so! We were constantly pulling things out of her mouth, every walk, all the time and yet this happened. I feel so guilty that she got into something and I never knew. We had to put our previous dog down due to inoperable, painful cancer and that was so painful, but pales in comparison to what we’re going through now. I don’t want to see anyone or have to talk about it. I know it’s been just a few days, but the pain is unbearable. We love dogs, but I’m not sure I can ever get another after this.

    • Marianne,
      I am so sorry for your loss. On Tuesday, July 7, 2015 my little 6 and half year old Bichon Frise “Molly” was stung by a honey be outside my Apartment Building and died from anaphylactic shock. As horrible as this is, I told my Landlord one month before about the bees around the complex and to please send someone out to take care of them, since I had a new Granddaughter and my little Molly I was worried..about two weeks after I finally called since I heard nothing and they were still there, she told me they were protected and didn’t sting, so I believed her, the lies we are finding out now are impossible for me to handle. I am so completely broken I can hardly breathe, it was only Molly and I, she was my best friend, a little diva, love bug, pain in the ass Angel. I loved her more than anything. I am completely dead inside, I have never felt such pain in all my life…and my life was no bed of roses. Prayers and hugs to you.

  21. My heart goes out to all of you. My cat Millie was run over yesterday, a nice lady stopped and took her to the vet but unfortunately there was nothing they could do. She was young, friendly and just being in the house is upsetting. Everything reminds me of her, it was such a shock you never expect or can prepare for these situations. It is comforting to know that others feel the same way I do about their beloved pets. Hoping it gets easier to deal with the loss.

    • Sheila says

      I am so sorry for your loss Anne. My cat Smoky who was six ran out in front of a car Monday and was killed instantly. The pain is almost unbearable, but glad I found this site with people who understand. I hope it gets easier for all of us as time goes by.

  22. Lyndelle says

    Thank you for this article, Marianne.
    I am really struggling with the loss of my puppy Archimedes just over a week ago. He was only five months old. He was at the vet for his neutering operation and had a reaction to the anaesthetic. The vets performed CPR for 45 minutes (much longer than usual) and got him back once but then his llungs failed and he couldn’t be saved no matter what they did.
    I’m devastated because he das a healthy dog and I only had him for three months, all of which were filled with joy. I miss him so much and am just so crushed that by doing the right thing (getting him neutered) I’ve lost my little guy,
    Thank you for your tips. I know I need to move on to live my life and care for my other dog. I just need to be able to let go of the feelings of injustice.
    Lyndelle

  23. Melinda Clark says

    I lost my baby girl, Destiny. She was honestly, the love of my life. I don’t have and kids, so my dog was all I had. ( I have a cat as well too) Destiny passed away very suddenly in November 2014.
    Destiny was a mamas girl. She was ALWAYS BY MY SIDE. Always. She got sad when I left, and always happy when I came home.
    I came home from work one day. She was excited as usual. Jumping and happy. 15 minutes later, she made a god awful cry, fell over and died. She was 12 years old.
    The Gave her CPR and mouth to mouth. I carried her to the vet. She was dead. The vet said she had a heart attack.
    I got no warning, no signs.
    I was absolutely devastated.
    For 2 weeks, I lost myself. I felt a pain I have NEVER EVER felt.
    I’m still not over it. I cry as I type this even now,
    I’m trying to remember the happy times. Trying to think that she’s happy now. NOT looking got me and just playing. I try to remember that every day.

    • Trevor says

      My precious Harry died this morning, he was 15. He was a tonkenise cat, very cuddly. It was so sudden. Last night he slept on our bed, and he got up with my wife (an early riser) and grabbed some breakfast, then came back upstairs. I was reading the news on my iPad and he jumped back into bed and snuggled down. After 5-10 mins I got up to check my Emails leaving Harry blissfully resting in our bed. It was raining heavily outside, great bed weather. I checked my Emails, returned to bed and he had passed away. It was so sudden I am still in shock, he seemed so healthy. RIP Harry you were one in a million and I will never forget you.

    • Pete Spinks says

      I understand I cry as I type this. My baby boy Garfield tragically died about 15 hours ago. He was trying to jump up on the kitchen counter and slipped and somehow broke his neck. I was in the next room but I heard a God awefull scream and went running in and he was on the ground not moving but he was breathing and making sounds for about 30 seconds. There was nothing I could do but try and nudge him and hope he was just stunned but he died right in front of me. I tried CPR but no response. :(***
      I am in shock still and can’t sit in the house without crying. I am outside in a yard chair grieving fifteen hours later. Garfield hardly ever made a sound only when I came home he would make little chirp sounds looking out the window waiting for me to come inside. Never even asked to be fed he knew I would take care of him. He slept by me every night and I miss him so much. I raised him from a kitten and he lived with just me and him for almost 5 years. I buried him and put a white cross marking his grave. RIP GARFIELD you will be missed!!!!!

  24. My heart goes out to all of you… even those that have not posted, and are just reading this, but can relate to the pain of losing a pet. I just lost my 14 year old dog 3 weeks ago and I have never been in such pain. She was very ill and I did not even know it. We took her to the vet and made the decision to put her to sleep that same day. The vet said she was not going to die on her own for a few days, but to “keep her around” for my pleasure would have been a selfish act (our vet agreed with us and this was a family decision that we all considered with HER in mind and we all agreed – my daughter and I held her as she passed). My dog and I had a special connection, like none I have ever had; I swear we could read each other’s minds (in a way), yet I missed her symptoms. I thought that the gradual changes in her behavior, her symptoms of being sick, really, were her just naturally aging. How could I not have known she was so sick? We were so close. I have had many pets and many pet losses… none have ever been like this. Every morning I wake up and for a split second I forget she is gone… then the world comes crashing down on me again when I remember she is not with me anymore. I will never have another dog like her. She was so unique. Fortunately I still have one cat and one dog left. I cannot imagine COMPLETE silence or being COMPLETELY alone. My other pets are grieving too, I believe. I feel for all of you. Remember that the fact that we feel so sad over the loss of our pets shows the special bond we had with our pets, remember how much our pets loved us, and think about all of the special times you shared. Keep the treasured memories and your pet close in your heart and your pet will always be with you. Best to you all, Susan <3

    • Hi Susan,

      My story is very similar to yours, except mine was a cat. I took her to the vet two days ago expecting something simple, and the next thing I knew I was holding her as she was put to sleep. It was devastating. I, too, had a closeness with her that causes me disbelief in not knowing something so serious was wrong with her. She was a very mean cat to everyone except me. We had an incredibly special bond. She had several brushes with death in her 11 years and I truly believe she fought hard to stay with me to protect me. Once I met my husband and we got settled in our home, it’s almost like she knew I am safe. I am six months pregnant and part of me wonders if she knew my life was changing and that it was time to move on (she would have got along horribly with a baby). I am so grateful for the time we had together, and that’s what I’m trying to focus on as a grieve. She got me through some of the hardest moments in my life (my 20s!). Although the suddenness of losing her is shocking and tragic, I am so thankful I got to tell her how much I love her and how much I appreciate her staying with me for so long. I held her and kissed her as she passed, and I feel like it was the least I could do for someone who did so much for me.

      Thank you for sharing your story. I read it last night and it brought me some peace, and I was finally able to get some sleep. I pray for peace for you as well as your grieve your loss. I’m sure your baby is still with you as mine is with me.

      Best,
      Clair

    • Brittany says

      We just lost our first dog Spence 3 days ago, Cheistmas night. Your story reminds me so much of our loss. I feel like there are many signs now to his illness that I could have seen, but assumed it was age. I am not sure much could have been done even if we had caught it sooner. Just having to make an instant decision to end my sweet boy’s life, when I thought at worse all he had was asthma and would need a shot, leaves so many questions along with a lot of guilt. I am slowly coming to terms that we made the best choice, but it’s hard when there is still so much hurt and pain behind that decision. Your doctors words bring a bit of healing…keeping Spence around would have been selfish to put him through more days of pain. And I keep trying to remind myself that our vet deemed the decision to be a good one. I am glad that as much as it hurt we got to be there with our sweet boy, loving him and letting him know how wonderful he’d been. Thanks for your story, and hope time has brought some healing.

    • Kathleen says

      I lost my dog,best friend pudds..
      I’m so sorry for your pain and loss. I felt I had to reply , because I too didn’t recognise just how unwell,and in pain my besutiful loyal friend had become ,putting the changes in him down to old age . How could I have not known when ,loyal as ever , he never left my side . I pray for his forgiveness and miss his with all my broken heart. The pain ,loss ,the unbearable silence is unbearable,like nothing I’ve ever experienced . I just want my loyal friend and companion , the vet said I did the right thing ,letting him go to sleep, but I feel i betrayed his trust. To all of you suffering the loss of your precious pet,my heart goes out to you. Kathleen .

  25. Felicity says

    Our dog became very ill and we had to rush her to the private animal clinic 350km from our hometown. After a lot of tests and an MRI the discovered she had a brain tumor and that its only a matter of time and they suggested that we put her to sleep. I feel sooooooo guilty that I couldn’t even say goodbye. My love for that dog was something I couldn’t describe to anyone. I cannot cope with this. I feel so guilty. I keep telling myself that she’s so lonely and that we “just left her there” but its not true. We prayed every night for her to get well. I am never getting over this. When my dog needed a kiss or someone to hold her paw,we never came.

    • Michelle says

      Felicity–
      Even though your post was 5 months ago I hope you somehow get a chance to read this. My heart broke into a million pieces reading your post. I feel the same way you do. We took our sweet boy to the vet 3 weeks ago yesterday and three weeks ago today he died suddenly. I know in my gut that the vet gave him a heartworm vaccine Pro 6 along with several other vaccines that killed him. But that’s another story. iThe appointment originally was to check some fatty tissue and get samples for testing. I was worried about the results enough not knowing that in 12 hrs he’d be gone.
      I feel your pain but dogs KNOW feelings and your baby girl knew only love for you. You weren’t there physically but you were ‘hers’ and she felt you and had your scent on her so you see she was with you. Remember too– vet clinics have caring employees that love animals and have their own at home too, so I’m certain that she was treated kindly and that she wasn’t alone. Try not to feel those hopeless feelings of gut wrenching sorrow filled with guilt. I’m trying to do the same and it’s hard.
      But here’s what I hold onto – I don’t think dogs have the same type of thoughts and complicated feelings that humans do. She was simply thinking of you and that she felt sick Then she peacefully went into a wonderful sleep and knows no pain now. She’s with you and watching over you in between doing all kinds of fun stuff with all the other dogs up in dog heaven! You did the best you could do in a tough situation.
      Peace be with you Felicity.

  26. Cheryl says

    I am devastated by the sudden loss of my almost 2 year old dog Violet. She loved being outside after being inside all day while I worked. I was in the house preparing dinner and somehow she got lose and was killed instantly by a car. I feel horrible and responsible. This just happened yesterday. My 13 year old son picked her out of a litter of 9 puppies she was the runt. She helped me and my son cope through a divorce and a long drawn out custody battle. I had many lonely nights before she came along. I know that she is in heaven and one day we will be reunited. Until then I will hold her within my heart. Knowing that time does heal all wounds.

  27. Joe Smith says

    We just lost our 3 year old cat called Jess, she died in her sleep. She ment everything to me, my mum and my brother as we got her after my father died of cancer. She was a healthy little cat who spent all here time exploring our garden. We predict an undiagnosed heart condition. I am so sad and shocked. Both my mum and brother are taking it really bad because Jess helped us through some hard times. I am crying my eyes out as I type and I am so sorry to anyone who has had to go through a similar experience.

    • Hi Joe, I am so sorry to hear this & it is an absolute heartache to lose a pet so close to you. I know that you think that you will never get over it but I wrote the story of my ginger tom dying a couple of weeks ago & I thought that it will live with me for a long time. Since then I have been reflecting on all about the good times that we had with him & it is very sad that he is still not around but time is a healer & I am getting better now & not thinking about him & hopefully given time that will be the same for you. Best wishes to you.

    • Adele Griffith says

      To Joe: I just found my 5-year old cat, Angelique, last night under my bed and she had died unexpectedly. Like Jess, I believe she died in her sleep. Cause unknown. So I am crying bitterly now with you. But I am rejoicing that she is happy with all new friends she is meeting. And I will see her again. Peace.

  28. All these stories are heartbreaking. My beloved ginger tom died 2 days ago in the middle of the night. He had a stomach hernia whereby a number of his organs where pushed into his chest, but I knew about this as the vet had informed that he would not live a long time say 3 years, however he lived with us for 5 years so outlived the prediction. It was just the way he died that will haunt me forever, the high pitched scream as the hernia had finally moved and was suffocating him, the fight for breath and the drool that was coming out of his mouth & then him lying on the floor & dying. In my life I have never felf so helpless & I cannot express how much I am going to miss him. I know that he had this “timebomb” waiting to go off but for 5 years he had managed OK & I guess being so smitten with him I thought that he would live forever. My wife & family have been really comforting but he was my little Georgey & I am not sure they knew how much I loved him. Its not the same at home without him. I guess they say that time is a great healer, I truly hope that is the case.

  29. Sabrina says

    My sweet baby girl Charlotte was a beautiful American bulldog. She was tangled around a small bush out front of the house and when getting untangled got away from us. She ran into the street and was hit & killed instantly. I am so devastated and heartbroken. She was only four. Will this pain go away? Your stories make me realize how many people suffer from this loss. I keep asking why she was taken from us so young and I can’t find my answer. I pray I’ll dream of her and hear her sweet bark at my side.

  30. Pet Mom says

    I lost my 8 year old cat suddenly due to her getting into and ingesting a household chemical. My cat, like Kia, died alone in the middle of a weekend night at the animal hospital. I was able to see her the evening before her passing but at that visit it was still thought she would make it through the night. It all happened so quickly, less than 24 hours. Not only do I struggle with the loss of my sweet baby but I struggle even more with her passing alone and me not being able to be with her. At our last visit, despite all the IV’s, and her body being weary, she was able to lift her head to the sound of my voice and tried her hardest to slither to me while in the cage at the vet. The first day I sobbed, hyperventilating at some points, just wanting to hold her one more time to officially tell her “Goodbye” and each time I would realize she’s gone I’d get angry at myself for failing her. I am struggling through all of the emotions and I too have asked for signs from my sweet cat and from up above. This morning I woke up crying but forced myself to visit the room where all her stuff still remains, untouched, and through the window I had the best view of the most beautiful sunrise I have seen in months. That was my sign. It doesn’t bring her back, it doesn’t change the events of how she passed, and it doesn’t put the pieces of my heart back together. But it does make me feel connected to her in her afterlife. And at this stage in my grieving, that helped tremendously.

    • I am so sorry for the sudden loss of your cat. Like you, it was Kia dying all alone that was one of the things that hurt me the most. Your description of the sunrise and what it meant to you was very beautiful, and something that others who have experienced receiving signs from their pet in the afterlife can relate to: that the sign doesn’t bring her back, change the events or doesn’t even put the pieces of your heart back together, but it makes you feel connected to her in the afterlife and eases your grief. Thank you for sharing.

  31. We just suddenly lost our black lab female. We are extremely heartbroken. Every time I come home my stomach sinks. The house seems empty. I can barely do everyday things. I am having a real hard time dealing with her being gone.

    • Lorraine says

      I am so sorry for your loss and hope life is more bearable now some time has passed. I understand fully how you feel my dog Harry left on Monday morning, I found him early in the morning laying in his bed he just looked like he was asleep. He was only just seven, I am heart broken as we all are, he was my baby and not knowing why he left has made it even harder. I hate coming home as Harry would be waiting for me by the front door wagging his tail so happy to see me.I haven’t been able to go to work and getting on with everyday jobs is unbearable as Harry would follow me around the house always there waiting for a cuddle. The house just feels empty now I hate being here on my own. My friends and family have
      been so supported the last few days but I am aware I need to pull myself together for my family.

      • My heart goes out to you, Lorraine, after the sudden death of your beloved dog Harry. The huge emptiness an animal companion leaves in your life when they pass can be really difficult to deal with. To grieve when you lose someone you loved dearly is a natural and highly individual process, and while you might feel you want to ‘pull yourself together for your family’ as you describe it, then also honor what you need to do to grieve, honor and memorialize your beloved Harry. After all, he was an essential part of your life – and in a way he still is through the love you shared and all the fond memories you have of him. I have found the Gratitude Journal to be a helpful tool in the grieving process; you may find it helpful too. Peace and blessings, Marianne

        • Desie-Anne says

          I came home from 10 -day vacation on December 11 and noticed that my baby Emily a Calico was breathing shallow. I decided to take her to the vet when I got back from work. During the day I tried to make a appoint with her regular vet but the number was constantly busy and his cell went to voicemail. So I took her to a nearby 24 hr vet clinic. They did a quick test and found she was +ve for FeLV and they drained her thorax and gave an appointment for the next day to see how best to treat the leukemia. Two hours later she started breathing worse and I rushed her back to the clinic. On the way she started making some awful sounds. When we got there and they opened her carrier she was not moving and they pronounced her dead on arrival. I’m so heartbroken. I feel so responsible. She was cremated on December 14. I feel a little bit comforted to know I’m not alone but I’m still devastated and miss her terribly especially when I get home and I am forced to remember not to call out her name as I am opening the front door – this was our little routine – because she’s not there. I am sad for all of you and I share your grief

Copyright © 2011-2024 Marianne Soucy & Healing Pet Loss. All rights reserved.
Unauthorized reproduction of any part or in any form is strictly prohibited.
blackhole