If you have lost a beloved pet, one question you might have sooner or later is whether to get a new pet or not – and when the right time for getting a new pet will be.
There are several things to take into consideration when deciding upon a new pet, so in this article I will give you a few guidelines and some questions you can ask yourself, that will hopefully help you determine what is best for you.
The answer to whether and when to get a new pet after pet loss is, of course, individual for each person, but generally, it is not a good idea to get a new pet right away after the death of a pet. There are several reasons for not getting a new pet immediately after pet loss, and I cover a few of those reasons below.
The importance of taking time to grieve the loss of a pet
You need time to grieve and to heal. Time to reflect on the life you shared with your now deceased pet and all the good times and special moments you had together. You need time to say goodbye; time to honor the memory of your deceased pet, and time for your own peace of mind.
The pain and the emptiness after the loss of a pet can be difficult to cope with, and whereas for some people getting a new pet right away can help them through the grief, you might want to ask yourself the question:
Why do I want a new pet?
It’s a good idea to make sure you are not just getting the new pet to push down the feelings of grief, and fill up the empty space after your loss. Allowing yourself to grieve is an important part of the healing process.
Eckhart Tolle writes the following in his book “Stillness Speaks” (New World Library, 2003):
“When a form that you had unconsciously identified with as part of yourself leaves you or dissolves, that can be extremely painful. It leaves a hole, so to speak, in the fabric of your existence.
When this happens, don’t deny or ignore the pain or the sadness that you feel. Accept that it is there. Beware of your mind’s tendency to construct a story around that loss in which you are assigned the role of victim. Fear, anger, resentment, or self pity are the emotions that go with that role. Then become aware of what lies behind the mind-made story: that hole, that empty space. Can you face and accept that strange sense of emptiness? If you do, you may find that it is no longer a fearful place. You may be surprised to find peace emanating from it.”
Meditation or another spiritual practice that helps you accept and be in the present moment can be highly beneficial when you are trying to cope with the grief and the emptiness after the loss of a pet.
Getting a new pet too soon may be unfair to the new pet
Another reason why you might want to wait – or at least not rush into getting a new pet – is that it may not be fair to the new pet. If you are still grieving the death of a pet, it can be hard for you to fully be there for a new pet. Integrating a new pet in the household takes time, effort, and your presence.
Consider your surviving pets
If you have other pets in the household, you might also want to take them into consideration when deciding upon a new pet. If they were close to the pet who died, they might be grieving just like you and need some extra attention and care for a period. You might even find that your relationship with your remaining pets get closer and the bond stronger when you together grieve the loss of a close friend. Also, consider what type of pet your remaining pets will get along best with – young and active or older and more calm.
However . . .
Life sometimes has designs of its own and may send a new pet your way. For instance, a starving, homeless cat suddenly shows up on your doorstep, and you need to take care of him or her. It could very well be that the universe is sending unexpected help – both to you and to the homeless kitty.
Or a friend suddenly calls you about a dog that desperately needs a home.
Conclusion
My main suggestion would be to not actively go out searching for a new pet right away, and in stead to take the time you need to grieve. But try to stay open. If a new pet comes your way suddenly or unexpectedly, it could be right for you. You might even feel that it is your deceased pet sending you a helper. Ultimately, you are the only one who can determine when it’s right for you to get a new pet.
Going within to help you decide on getting a new pet
Besides considering the questions and issues mentioned above, tuning into and listening to your intuition or asking your spirit guides can also be helpful when you are trying to decide whether to get a new pet or not. You can use a meditation such as for example my guided Inner Peace Meditation to get to that state of inner peace where you can ask the question and in that place of stillness listen for an answer, a feeling or a knowing.
If you have any thoughts on or experiences with getting a new pet after the death of an animal companion, feel free to share in the comments below.
Correction. Naura died on June 18, not July 18. We didn’t get the new puppy until September 7.
On July 18 of this year, our beloved dog, Naura, died from cardiomyopathy. She had no symptoms of heart trouble until the weekend before she died. A trip to the vet showed nothing unusual, then a trip to the emergency vet showed her heart problem. She died the next day. Our hearts were broken along with hers. After about 6 weeks, we started looking for a new puppy and found a young girl, only 7 weeks old. We brought her home and started teaching her everything. She was a sweet, loving girl and we loved her greatly. We still do, even though now, she has left HER body. She lost her appetite on Saturday, but we didn’t think anything. Dogs do this often and are fine the next day. The next day, she was a little better and ate, but then vomited later. That night she started vomiting bile only so the next day we took her to the vet. Lots of tests, nothing showed up, but she was dehydrated so they gave her fluids and sent us home with some anti nausea medicine and antibiotics. That night, she became very restless, and wouldn’t drink or eat. The next morning, she gave me two weak tail wags and then went to sleep. I tried to wake her to make her take water, but she was already dying. Her body was shutting down . About an hour and a half later, she left her body as we were sitting with her, telling her we loved her and that it was OK to go. Now, our hearts are broken again and we’re left wondering why she left us. She was such a sweet girl, we miss her so much! I hope Naura is helping her adjust. And I am hoping to hear from them somehow.
Dear Rebecca,
I’m so sorry for your tragic losses. Not only losing your Naura suddenly, but also the new puppy so soon after.
You did everything you could, and that’s very admirable. I’m sure it meant a lot to your dogs that you were there for them – attentively and compassionately.
You mention that you hope to hear from them somehow. There are several ways you can make a connection or get a sign from them. Check out one of my blog posts about synchronicity here:
https://healingpetloss.com/synchronicity-after-pet-loss-a-true-story/
And for a technique to communicate with or get messages from your pets:
https://healingpetloss.com/my-1-technique-for-coping-with-guilt-after-pet-loss/
What you can do is create a little ritual where first you imagine connecting with each of your dogs and express your love to them. See them together – Naura caring for the little one. Then you could ask for help that a spirit guide will protect and guide the dogs in the afterlife. You could either leave the identity ‘open’ and let the universe decide or you could more specifically call on the Goddess of Compassion (Kuan Yin), or another compassionate spirit guide you may already have a relationship with.
I hope this helps.
Thank you so much. I did connect with Naura after she died and also saw her in dreams in which I saw she was OK. But I have not been able to connect with the little puppy (Laura) yet. Maybe she was not with us long enough… But I will try to see the two together. I know they are still with us, but I do so miss the physical presence.