After the death of a beloved pet, the experience of emptiness can be overwhelming. Everywhere your pet used to be, there is now a hole. And the reality and pain of the loss hits you every time you come to a place where your pet used to be.
This is a normal experience when your pet was more than just a “pet” but a family member, a close friend. If the bond you had with your pet was strong and the love between you was deep, then the grief following your beloved pet’s death will also be deep. And the emptiness after the loss will be vast and sometimes hard to bear.
While your deceased pet can never be replaced, the hole your beloved pet leaves doesn’t need to be filled up with grief and sadness. We can instead work on filling it up with love. There are many ways you can do that; one technique I have created is the following, which you can try out for yourself:
Exercise: Reconnecting with the love after pet loss
Close your eyes and picture the hole or the darkness that is left after your pet is gone. Before the loss, your pet was there, and a feeling of love when you looked at him or her. Now there’s just emptiness and darkness filled with feelings of grief and sadness.
Now go into your heart and find the light and the love you still have for your pet, and then place it in the empty hole you saw before. What do you see when you place the light from your heart in the darkness or empty space? That could for instance be a little candle burning steadily in the darkness or an image of your pet coming running happily towards you.
What do you see when you place your heart’s light and love in the dark empty space you see in front of your mind’s eye?
A quick tip: You can prepare for this exercise by doing my Inner Peace Meditation.
Death is not the end
In times of grief, it can be good to be reminded that death is not the end, and that love is eternal. Our job after the death of a pet is to find that light and love that we still have deep inside and to reconnect with that eternal love. It is in that love we will reunite with our pet.
My killer, was not sick. He vomited one time with diarrhea on Sat but was walking around, drinking and eating a little. Wasn’t worried. Had sitter come sit with my 3 dogs. She said he laid around but was drinking and walking around only vomited once. She went to take them out again on Sunday and she reached down and he was gone. I’m so sad because I wasn’t home and didn’t know anything was wrong. He was a 15 yr min pin
My lab passed Sunday. He was 13, and the tears and grief are overwhelming. He was my shadow! Always by my side. I keep looking down by my side. I feel so lost and empty. My sons grew up with him and they are deeply sad. I try to hide my emotions in front of them. It was sudden, he just couldn’t get up Saturday night. The vet said it was his spine, and had to put down. Saying goodbye was so heartbreaking. RIP Pepper!
Sorry for your loss. I just lost my beagle. We had scheduled a Euthanasia, but I found him passed away. Praying for peace for everyone who’s been through this. It’s not easy. “Grief is love with no place to go”.
Hello,
My fifteen year old dog is very seriously ill with heart and kidney problems, and also muscle wasting disease. My vet did not think that she would survive even until Christmas, last year, but she is a little fighter. However, three months on, she has deteriorated and will not be with us for much longer. She is the only onein the world in whose love and loyalty I trust. She is my constant companion, and I love her so much that I cannot described how much in words. I REALLY donot know how I will cope when she is gone; it is bad enough now, just thinkingabout it. Though I am expecting it, it will still be a massive shock when it happens, because I cannot even imagine life without her. I feel as if my heart has been ripped out. I knew that she would not last for ever, but this is just awful. She means everything to me.
Regards,
Hayley
Hayley,
I completely empathize with you. Last Sunday I had to euthanize my sweet Scruffy boy. He was 16. Everything you wrote is exactly what I’ve been thinking. About two years ago, I found out he had malignant cancer tumors on his front leg. I did everything I could to try and cure him, but because of where they were and the type, there was nothing that could be done. In the end, it was arthritis in his back legs that made it difficult for him to walk and get around, not the cancer that did him in. His little legs atrophied, he had to be carried up and down the stairs, couldn’t go to the bathroom without trouble and would walk a couple of steps before stopping and looking at me with pain in his eyes. The 48 hours prior to my heartbreaking decision, he declined rapidly. No amount of knowing and preparing for this day can make it bearable. Just know you are not alone in your grief. For me, the warm wishes, sympathy and prayers have helped. So, I feel your pain and hope that it will give you some comfort.