“What do you mean by that?”, you are probably thinking. After pet loss, of course there is grief. Heartbreaking, painful feelings of grief.
And yes, I do agree with the importance of acknowledging the grief. I know grief – I have experienced grief after the death of a pet myself. And I still get occasional feelings of longing and grief now, even though it has been a while since my cat Pittiput died.
But this morning I got a different perspective on grieving after pet loss – guided by my cat Kia.
Is grief all there is after pet loss?
You see, since I write the content for this website about pet loss and grief, I deal with and think about that subject a lot. And as I was thinking of new content for this article, it struck me that there must be more to it than “coping with” the feelings of grief and loss.
While these thoughts are going through my mind, I am lying in bed, and my beautiful black cat Kia is lying right next to me – her face is very close to mine. She is purring non-stop, and as I look into her eyes, she looks right back at me and it feels like she is looking right into my soul. She is holding the gaze for a long time, and as I am looking into her eyes, I keep hearing these words over and over again:
“It’s not about the grief – it’s about the love.”
And suddenly everything makes sense. Surrendering to love is what is important – and what we humans have such a hard time doing. We seem to be stuck in various degrees and kinds of suffering most of the time.
That is why animals are so important to the health of us humans – physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Our animal companions can teach us to be present and experience the love that is within us and around us. We are surrounded by much love and joy – if we allow ourselves to open up, to pay attention and experience it. For example, I can experience love from my cats. And when I look outside, I see the garden, the sunrise, the birds, all the life out there – how can I not see the beauty and magic – the love.
Reconnecting with the love
During the grieving process after losing a beloved pet, it can be helpful to remind oneself that grief is not all there is. Grief and love go hand in hand. Realize that they are connected – grief and love – for you are only grieving so deeply now, because you have loved so deeply. So when you are grieving deeply after the loss of a beloved animal companion, remember to look for the love that is there already, buried by and suppressed by the grief. Your pet’s body may be gone, but the love you shared will never die.
What you can do now
If you have lost a pet but have other pets in the household, go and hold them; be with them and open up to and accept the love they so readily and unconditionally give you.
If you don’t have another pet, go out in nature and spend some quiet time there – observing, just being – and notice how healing it is.
Also, know that you are not alone. Fortunately there are many resources available, both on the internet and locally, probably also in your area.
On this website you can find many resources, comfort, and inspiration. One of the resources on this website you might find helpful is the Inner Peace Meditation I have created to help you achieve a sense of clarity, calm and peace of mind. It is a basic guided meditation that you can use anytime you need to return to a place of inner peace, and it is especially useful during the challenging time when your pet is dying and you want to be calm and centered enough to make the right decisions for your pet’s end of life and after your pet has died, and you are having a hard time coping with the feelings of grief and loss.
Another helpful thing you can do is to practice gratitude. Gratitude is a powerful healer after the loss of a animal companion and an excellent way to help you see past the grief and reconnect with the love. To help you I have created a Gratitude Journal, available at no cost.
