When you have been grieving the loss of your pet for a while, you might get to the point where you feel the need to move on but can’t seem to do it. You still feel overwhelmed by the guilt and stuck in the pain of the loss.
So how do you move on with your life when your animal companion is gone?
One thing I have noticed is that our mindset or the words we use – make a big difference. Let me give you an example:
Most likely, when you are thinking of creating a life after the loss of a pet, you are using the phrase “move on” in your mind (like I just did in the paragraph above). You might be thinking:
- “I want to move on, but don’t know how”
- “How do I move on after the death of my pet?”
- “I need to move on with my life, but how can I?”
“Moving On” after pet loss
Let’s look at what “move on” means to us: What do you think of when hearing the phrase “move on”?
To me it indicates some kind of separation; leaving something or someone behind. In the case where you have lost a pet, it would seem to indicate leaving your pet – including the love and all the fond memories of your pet – behind. From this perspective, it is easy to see that “move on” is a term which may actually keep us stuck in grief.
People often say, “It is time to move on”. What this usually means is, it is time to suppress and forget your feelings of grief – and along with them many of the fond memories.
But see what happens, when you change one little word. In stead of saying “move on”, you say “move forward”.
“Moving Forward” after pet loss
It has a whole different meaning and feeling to it, hasn’t it?
When I hear that phrase, I get a positive feeling, a feeling of carrying with me all the love, the fond memories of and the lessons I learned from my pet. Not suppressing and forgetting, but acknowledging and remembering.
How do you feel the distinction between “move on” and “move forward”?
Love is eternal
Suddenly it becomes easier to imagine a life after pet loss, because you realize that while your pet’s physical body is gone, the love, the memories and the lessons learned will always be with you. You realize that you have become a better person from knowing your pet and that your life is forever changed – not just because you lost your pet, but especially because your pet lived – because you were so fortunate as to share your life with your pet.
Exercise
Take a moment and note down some of the ways your life has changed and you have become a better person because of your pet.
What did you learn from the love and the life you shared with your pet?
The lessons and insights you get from this exercise will stay with you and be the fuel and the inspiration for moving forward after the loss of your beloved pet.
In what ways can you make a difference in your life and in the lives of other people or animals because of what your pet taught you?
One thing you can do is to reconnect with the love you shared with your pet and use that love to make a difference in the world in your pet’s honor.
Further Support
If you are looking for further support after the loss of your beloved animal friend, see my book (expanded 2nd edition):
Healing Pet Loss: Practical Steps for Coping and Comforting Messages from Animals and Spirit Guides
