Several people have contacted me because they are struggling with long-term grief after pet loss. They feel they are stuck in pain, guilt, and sadness after the loss of their beloved pet. Many can see no way out and feel that they will never get over losing their pet and that they cannot heal. If this sounds like you, then this article is for you.
I asked my spirit guides if they had advice for people who are suffering years after the loss of a pet. I received the following message:
While it is normal for grief to linger and come up for years afterwards, the acute ‘I can’t cope’ feeling lasting for years indicates a deep resistance to what is; a refusing to accept that the beloved pet is gone. When some one is still devastated years after pet loss, they have placed their identity on ‘me with my pet’ and they are not having a clear feeling or sense of who they are without their pet. And since their pet was such an integral part of who they were, then when their pet dies, sometimes a part of them leaves too.
The first step is to accept that the pet is gone. It can be helpful to remind oneself that while the pet’s physical body is gone, its spirit and all the love they shared with their pet will never die.
Feel the pain and the grief – allow it to be there – but notice as you surrender to it an underlying peace – a place deep within your heart where the love is intact and undying. Reconnect with that love and let it go hand in hand with the grief of the loss. It’s not either – or.
Connect with your pet, for example by creating a pet memorial ceremony, and express then your gratitude and your goodbye – wishing your pet well and safe on his or her journey. And invite the part of yourself back who has gone off to be with the pet for fear of being apart. When you allow your pet to continue on his soul’s journey and you at the same time allow yourself to be whole and be present in the life you have been given (or chosen), then you will often find a peace you didn’t know before and realize that love is eternal and comes in many shapes – and that nothing can come between you and your pet. The love you shared connects you forever, and in that love you can move forward in your own life and accomplish what you came on Earth to do.
Your life lessons can be valuable and helpful to someone else – share the love and the lessons, and help make someone else’s path here on Earth easier.
A quick reminder, though. It’s important not to skip steps, for even such a compassionate thing as helping others can be used to keep yourself busy in order to avoid going within and really accept and experience what you are feeling – accept the death of your pet.
Going within and going without should also go hand in hand. Find a balance between taking time to go within, for instance doing yoga, tai chi, meditation, etc. and going without, bringing your gifts out to the world and taking action on what you have learned on your journey within.
Below you will find a few resources and suggestions that are meant to inspire you on your journey within and without. Feel free to add your own.
Resources for going within:
MeditationSongs for Healing Pet Loss
Direct communication with your pet
A few suggestions for going without:
Exercise, take care of your body, eat healthy.Help others, volunteer.
Be creative. Are you inspired to create something?
Do something differently. Do something new.
Consider changing your habits.
Spend more time in nature.
Do a spring cleaning, no matter the season.
Perhaps you would enjoy a new hobby, or even a new job.
There are many more things you can do to cope with the prolonged grief after pet loss, and you might also benefit from the help and guidance of a professional grief counselor in your area. An Internet search may reveal such possibilities.
What have you done to cope with pet loss that you have found helpful? Share in the comments below to inspire others who are struggling with finding their own way through the grief after pet loss.
I have made a scrapbook of Charlie’s life. It commemorates his character and our Love for each other. It also serves as a creative outlet that allows me to connect with his Spirit whenever I work on it. It was a precious craft during the first weeks of our physical separation.
Making a scrapbook of your beloved dog Charlie’s life is a wonderful idea. I like how you point out that it enables you to connect with his Spirit when you work on the scrapbook. I think it is worth keeping in mind for anyone who has lost a beloved animal companion and who wishes to connect with their animal in spirit. Connecting with your animal in the afterlife doesn’t necessarily have to be through ‘animal communication’. Creative or artistic ways like yours are helpful too, and through them you can not only connect with your animal companion, you can also express your love and gratitude in a very tangible way. Thank you for sharing. Blessings, Marianne
An important message, Marianne, and I thank you for sharing it. I’ve placed a link to your article at the foot of my current blog post, “Replacing A Pet Who Has Died: When Is It Time?” here: http://j.mp/WvSGrA