The long goodbye

Saying goodbye to a beloved pet

Having to say goodbye to a beloved pet is one of the most difficult things we have to do as caretakers and companions of animals that we love and share our lives with.
There are different kinds of goodbyes when we lose a beloved pet.

There is the goodbye we didn’t have a chance to say because our pet died suddenly. When my cat Rumi died, it was tragic as he was run over by a car; suddenly, he was no longer with us. When I was a child, the adults I lived with took away my best friend, a little black kitten, without notice. I did not even have a chance to say goodbye.

That was also the case with my ‘soul sister’, my beloved cat Kia, who died alone in an animal hospital. To her also I had to say my goodbye after she has passed. Since her passing, I have communicated with her many times, and she has become a guide and companion to me in spirit. You may be familiar with her messages on the Healing Pet Loss blog or in my book, ‘Healing Pet Loss – Practical Steps for Coping & Comforting messages from Animals and Spirit Guides‘.

In the cases we don’t get to say goodbye before our animal companion passes, we have to say our goodbyes afterwards. As I mentioned above with my connection with Kia, this can be deeply healing. We can for instance create a pet memorial ceremony, where we can say our goodbyes in a heartfelt way.

There is the difficult goodbye we have to say when a pet gets very sick and we feel that the most compassionate thing we can do is to have the assistance of a vet to help our beloved pet get a peaceful transition. That is a very difficult decision to make and is often followed by feelings of guilt, regret, and “what ifs”.

I experienced that difficult goodbye when I had the vet come to my home and help our beloved cat Pittiput pass on. He was extremely ill, only a shadow of his former self; no chance of recovery, and he had stopped eating and drinking. It was a responsible decision to end his suffering, and I was very fortunate that I managed to arrange with the vet to euthanize Pittiput at home, and I had about 4 hours alone time with Pittiput at home, and time to say goodbye to him before the vet came.

I invite you to download my free ebook with some helpful tips in making a decision you can live with: When your pet is dying.

The long goodbye . . . .

That’s the situation my husband and I are currently in with our beloved cat Minnie. She has been getting weaker for a long time, and the vets can’t find anything wrong. For the past several months we have been doing our best to support and care for her, and to adjust to saying goodbye to Minnie and letting go of her – to allow her to pass when it’s her time.

It’s a very challenging situation to be in and I’ll be the first to admit that. At times it’s so tough I don’t know if I can continue. But, then I take a moment to return to the present moment and find a degree of peace within myself, and I get back to being fully with Minnie; connecting with her, singing to her, doing everything I can to find something she might eat. At the same time I let her know that I’m right beside her all the way, and when it’s her time to pass, it’s okay with me, and I will always be by her side in spirit. I keep her best interest in mind at all times.

All the while, I focus on gratitude – letting her know how grateful I am that she came walking into our garden 5 years ago; how she walked right into our hearts, where she has stayed ever since. And I let her know that she’ll forever have a place in my heart; that I see the shining light she is. She’s not just her failing body; she’s a carrier of the light, which was stated in one of my Sacred Spirit Journeys for Minnie. (A variation of the shamanic journey, The Sacred Spirit Journey is the method I use to connect with and communicate with Minnie – and other animals – both those alive and those who have passed).

Minnie is handling the whole process remarkably well. She eats and drinks very little, but she is happy and purrs when we connect with her, touch her, talk with her. She is weak but still mobile and finds different places in the house she wants to lie, so we accommodate her and try to make her as comfortable as possible. We are very aware of her state at all times, but she does not seem to be suffering and her spirit is still shining brightly, especially when we connect with her.

I am trying to learn the difficult lesson of living with the not knowing. She could pass any day now. She reminds me with this long goodbye to be fully present in the Now, to focus on gratitude, to surrender, and to look beyond the ‘surface’ and to let the light that shines within shine brightly.

So this long goodbye – from Minnie to us and from us to Minnie, seems to have somehow been planned that way, in order to lessen the suffering of Minnie’s transition – for her and especially for us. This long goodbye with Minnie has been a tough but very important lesson for me – a challenging lesson which is also filled with grace, largely due to the way Minnie has been handling the whole process. She has shown us and taught us gratitude from the moment we met her, and she continues to fill us with gratitude for being such a shining light in our life. We love her dearly and she will forever be in our hearts.


I will end this article with a message from Minnie in a recent Sacred Spirit Journey.








This article is written as a tribute to my beloved cat Minnie.

With deep gratitude,
Marianne Soucy