After the death of a beloved pet, we are left with the emptiness and grief after the loss, and the yearning and longing to be with our pet again is strong. Our pets are not just “pets”; to many of us they are companions, friends, and part of the family.
If you feel like that, then there are a few things you can do right away to make a connection with and express your love and gratitude for your pet and everything he or she meant to you.
We want to do the best to honor our deceased pet, but if we wait for the perfect idea or the perfect ceremony, we might risk postponing it indefinitely, because it will never be good enough.
But a memorial ceremony doesn’t always have to be elaborate. Here are 3 simple steps you can do today. They are simple but powerful – it’s getting it done that matters. Here’s what you can do:
- Find a picture or photo of your deceased pet and put it where you can see it. If you are inspired you can even make a photo collage.
- Light a candle and then just sit quietly with closed eyes for a while and become centered and relaxed. You may have some soothing music on in the background. Then open your eyes and look at your pet’s picture and at the candle next to it.
- Now it’s time for you to express what you with to communicate to your pet. It could be for instance
– read a favorite poem
– read a “letter” you’ve written to your pet
– share fond memories you have of your pet.
End the little ceremony in a way that feels right to you.
An idea for something to include in the ceremony could be the words used in the Hawaiian practice Ho’oponopono:
I’m sorry
Please forgive me
I love you
Thank you.
Even without knowing much about that practice, you can use and benefit from these powerful words.
You can always make a more elaborate ceremony, but this short one is easy and can be used as often as you like. Eventually you may develop your own ceremony.
I am alone and had a shih Tzu named Zen that was my child. She passed after 2 days illness taken from me and I am so heartbroken I am not even myself she was my life and I am sad every minute of everyday is miserable. worse part was she was sick and had to be put down and I feel I let her down although she had a great life and was happy.
My husband and I lost our two lovely old dachshund boys Flloyd and Smoochie within 7 months of each other. They were both nearly 15 years old and had a wonderful life with us. Nevertheless we are still grieving for them and miss them so much. One thing we did that helped a little was we bought 2 silver helium balloons and we wrote words of love to both our boys on them. On a clear starry night we went into the garden and kissed the balloons and said some loving words out loud to our boys and then we released the balloons into the heavens. We feel in a small way we released our love and positive energy into the universe. It helped. x
My blue cattle dog Mischka i had to euthanase over a year ago and i still am heartbroken about it. She was the most beautiful dog i have ever had the privilege of knowing. She was so loyal and i loved her like i would my children. She was extraordinary. I don’t know how to cope with it and am still struggling. She was 8 years old and i still can remember what she felt like and everything about her. What i would give to have her back. I just want her to know how much i miss her and how much i loved her. She was well cared for and had a very happy life but i hope she can forgive me and i hope she is with me. That’s the hardest thing, she was always with me and now she is not. I have never known such heartbreak and i have had a very sad life in lots of ways, but this loss of my girl is just the worst ever. I can’t even look at her photos! It is too painful. I don’t know what else to do. I now have a rescue dog, i love him but still he won’t fill her shoes, he is bright and happy too and very loved, i even feel guilty because i have him, i couldn’t live alone, so he is a good companion as i am elderly and have an incurable illness which affects my mobility. She understood and was a constant source of love and i could almost tell what she was thinking, i know she could read me too.
What can i do to feel better? I keep busy but almost feel as though i am not worthy of enjoying life and being happy, and i always have been. As if that wasn’t enough, My other loved dog was run over and killed by a car a couple of months after i said goodbye to my girl. He was a good dog too. After that i had a nervous breakdown.
My family never understood and that has made it harder too. They should have realised how much i was suffering but they never talk about it so no support at all from them for me.
It is so awful
I too am alone, age 71 and my husband left after 37 years. My loved cat Daisy has disappeared, most certainly dead, and I am heartbroken even though have other cats and dogs. I had a sad life from a child and believe we depend more on our animals and when they have to leave, we feel abandoned all over again and miss them terribly. I understand; many people on pet loss also understand but sadly often relatives do not. We have a very hard load to carry BUT would we really choose to be a different type of person if we could? Perhaps the World needs more people like us who truly understand the importance of animal lives and friends instead of thinking they are only ‘pets’. I feel it is my lot in life to feel such pain when they die but also maybe, are lucky to know the wonderful love they give us. Not everybody does.
Yes, fortunate are those who know the love of a beloved animal companion. I am so happy for you that Daisy was reunited with you, and auspiciously so on the final day of the 5-day Healing Pet Loss Workshop. Miracles do happen.
Blessings, Marianne
Not many people understand what it is like to lose a much-loved pet. Only special friends, such as the one I have. I have lost two friends recently and a cousin, but have not shed tears as I have over my Whisky. Take care of yourself.
I just Lost my friend Lady bug it happen suddenly she got called away from me and i had no choice but to accept it … I will miss her till the day i get to be back with her and never let go …. with a broken heart i say thank you god for giving me the priviledge of having her as my friend and giving me an amazing companion … will be miss and i love you Lady bug