The loss of a beloved pet is a heartbreaking experience that can be difficult to cope with, because you lose the one who loved you unconditionally and who was always there for you. Your pet was a companion with whom you shared much love and many fond memories.
Listen to the Healing Pet Loss Podcast:
Apple, Spotify, Castbox, Podbean,
Goodpods, Podfriend, Castro, Player FM
The moment just after your animal companion has passed you may very well be in shock and not know what to do. As I often do I turned to my angel cat Kia who was a gentle, loving companion to me and my husband for 12 years and who now after her passing offers us her deep wisdom and love. As I asked her for insights and advice on what to do just after your pet has died, the following is what she said:
“The present is always the starting point”, I hear Kia say. I feel her soft, gentle presence close to me. “The first inclination with most people will be to avoid, run away, or deny death. Death is such a huge transition and step into the unknown for both the dying and the ones left behind that it can be difficult to accept or even grasp. But just as anything unknown seems potentially threatening, then it is less so once you get to know it.”
Marianne: “How can one get to know death?”
Kia:
“At some point your awareness will shift from your feelings to your deceased pet that’s lying beside you. As you look at your pet’s body you might realize that even though it is your pet’s body, the life essence or soul is no longer in the body. It is now separate from the body but might very well be close to you (whom they loved so much) and also getting adjusted to being in their new spirit form. It doesn’t matter if you can’t see, hear, or sense their spirit, just know they are there and know that you have a chance now to ease your beloved pet’s transition into and adjustment to the afterlife.
At this point connect with the love you shared with your pet and call on the assistance of a compassionate being, spiritual light, a power animal, angels – whatever higher being or power you feel comfortable with. Maybe a sudden inspiration will come to you. What you can do can be as simple as imagining an opening in the darkness where a being of light approaches and with compassion, love and peace connects with your pet and guides them into the light. See your pet at peace, surrounded with love. You may later wish to do a pet memorial ceremony, but what you can do now is to send your pet into the light with your blessing – saying goodbye while expressing your gratitude for their love and the precious time you had together. Although there will be more healing work to be done, this initial awareness and becoming present can make the transition easier for yourself as well as for your beloved pet.
One thought I will leave you with: Instead of thinking of “dying”, think of or contemplate their death as a kind of birth – a birthing into a new existence, this time on the spirit plane. With your help and your blessing your pet will be in a place of light and love, and although their physical body is gone, you will with practice be able to connect with your pet and experience how their love and their light can be part of your life and guide you as you move forward on your own path through life. And whenever you feel lost or in the dark, just look into your heart and see the little light they left behind. Part of them will always be with you. In peace.”
Marianne: “Thank you Kia, for your wisdom.”
May Kia’s words and gentle love guide you through your darkest hour and help you bring the light back into your life and peace to your beloved animal companion.
Listen to the Healing Pet Loss ‘Into The Light’ Meditation here.
Read more in my book:
Healing Pet Loss: Practical Steps for Coping & Comforting Messages from Animals and Spirit Guides
Learn more about this book
My beloved Freckles, my best friend and soul companion, passed away early this morning. What a synchronicity to see this email in my inbox this very day. Thank you Freckles. And thank you, Marianne.
My heart goes out to you. Sent with love.
Thank you for sharing this…
I had my nine year old doxie, Hercules, put to sleep last week when he was found to have advanced lymphoma. We were due an appointment later that afternoon to check his ears, as he appeared confused and as if he could not hear me. It wasn’t his hearing…it was the cancer…
This was so sudden for me. The vet said his color wasn’t good and his lymph glands were ‘huge’. I knew he was tired and suffering, several things happened over the last several weeks that showed me how sick he was. My denial prevented a check with the vet sooner. I was terrified of losing him and it had been a very rough year for him.
As I signed his euthanization paper, I felt like an executioner. They put the catheter in and then brought him to me and said I could have as much time as I wanted…but I could not bear it. I was so distraught and grief stricken, had already spent 45 minutes in the room with him, hugging him and kissing him between letting him down and his sniffing around the floor…but when he came back, I kissed and hugged him and told him how much I loved him. The I said,…”Please take him….” then he was gone. The vet tech, a couple of days later, shared with me that he simply laid down on his side, they administered the drug into the catheter and he closed his eyes and fell asleep, then he was gone.
I have been wracked with guilt by not staying. His greatest moment of need, I was not the last voice he heard as he was blind and could not see. I imagine him to be frightened without mama there to comfort as I had so many times before.
I loved him with all of my heart. I am suffering unbearable grief. I see him everywhere, hear his nails click near in the kitchen I know he is not there, but I miss his warmth, the licking of my feet every night as he tired himself to sleep. The last week, he slept very close to me. This was not usual…is it possible that they know? He clung on tight as he was so ill.
I want to believe that what I did was right for him. That he did not suffer but went peacefully is a measure of comfort. He did not like going to the vet, and he would often be obstinate and yet this time he wasn’t.
He leaves a gaping hole in my heart, my home and my life. He was my legal companion pet and he also suffered from chronic illness like me. We shared a tremendous bond.
When my grieving is intense, I think I want him back. I beg and plead…and then it passes.
I want to believe that this is not goodbye, but merely, “I’ll see you again soon’….
Thank you for letting me share….
I am so sorry for your loss. Peace and love be with you. I think Hercules would have let you know somehow if it was necessary for you to be with him when the vet tech took him. I am sure you would have known to go. Since that didn’t happen I am convinced Hercules was OK with the way things went. I am positive of it.
My precious boxer Rico passed away this week and I am so terribly sad. I miss him so much. We both had health issues that we got each other through. His comforting unconditional love was my healing space. I nurtured his difficult health journey with all the love I could give. His passing was some what of a shock as he seemed to be in a healthier way. Thinking about the days leading up and day of, there were so many little signs that bring me some peace. He spent the day with his brother and beagle sister playing outside, even got in his baby pool to cool off, had his carrot treats, ran the fence with his neighbor friend. Then his body was tired. Thank goodness I happened to go outside where he was laying down. He looked at me with worried eyes, then rested his head down when I sat next to him as if, ‘she’s here’. His last moments were at the vet but Rico and I were nose to nose until he passed with me telling him how much I love him.
I’m so thankful for our soul connection and know that our lights will always shine together. I’m trying hard to keep the happy moments when the tears flow, but am having a really hard time with the guilty ‘what ifs’ and ‘should haves’. His brother and beagle seem to be looking for him. I’m spending much time with Rocky (brother) as he is a comfort for me as I’m hoping I’m a comfort for him. My neighbor told me that when I left to take Rico to the vet, his brother, Rocky went over and lay in the place where Rico was. I miss him so very much.
I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved boxer Rico. It is heartbreaking to lose such a special companion. Thank you so much for sharing your story, Amy – it is very moving and beautiful. It’s a unique description of love and loss that I’m sure will touch many who come by this page looking for comfort. I really love the expression you use that your lights will always shine together. Blessings, Marianne
Marianne, thanks for sharing your beautiful insights. I lost both my beloved dogs within six weeks of each or other (16 years and 15 years) and was blessed to be with them as they transitioned. I still feel their presence..
when my precious Rizzo died I had everything prepared it helped me get through this terrible emotional time! I had a prayer that I chanted over her until she left!!it was from a book I read -“Blessing the Bridge” by Rita Reynolds this is a wonderful book and really helped me help my precious to leave this world!! its dealing with all this grief now that she is gone I’m having a problem with!!! I’m ANGRY!!!!! thats what I’m trying to get under control!! thanks for sharing this passage
I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved Rizzo. What a beautiful thing you did to help you animal companion when she passed. It is understandable and not at all uncommon to feel such anger afterwards. During the end of her life, most likely a lot of your attention was on her, trying to make her comfortable and ease her passing, but then all the emotions come up so strongly afterwards. Anger often comes when we experience something as unfair or we have a hard time coming to terms with something that has happened. There’s a resistance that makes it difficult for us to be in the present – and after losing an animal companion that meant so much, it can be really tough to get to terms with them not being with us in their physical body. It’s a process where you just take one step at the time, going through your grief in your own pace. Know that you are not alone. I hope you can get comfort and inspiration on my website.
I love the wisdom that came through from Kia. Yes, our pets (deceased or living) can be our angels! This should help many who experience the loss of a pet.
Thanks for sharing, Marianne. Grieving over a pet is such a traumatic time for a family, especially when they suffer from illness.